Another Chat with Carl.

Carl smiled. His eyes remained fixed on mine. There was no warmth there. No humour. No humanity. I held his gaze. A reptilian stare. I looked away, glimpsed his smile again. Another battle won. I’d allow these minor triumphs; attention on the big prize.

‘Go on,’ I said. ‘Chat away, big man. I’m listening. Still waiting to hear anything worth listening to.

Carl leant forward, his restraints holding him back. ‘Oh, I can tell you things,’ he whispered, his voice low and compelling.

I shrugged, half turning away as if disinterested.

‘I decided to get rid of my father. He was unlikely to leave home of his own accord and showed no signs of ill-health. Killing him was an obvious option.’ Carl paused. I felt his eyes burning into me, but kept my face averted, letting his frustration build.

‘I had reached the end of my tether as far as he was concerned.  His efforts to mould me in his image appalled me. Why would I want to be like him?’  His voice was calm. Unhurried. Entirely without expression. I cast my mind back over his dossier; couldn’t recall a reference to his father.

‘He undoubtedly thought I was retarded. I didn’t see much of him. He wasn’t very interested in me. I remember that.

I’d overtaken him intellectually quite a while before I decided he had to go. It amused me, watching him struggle, pencil tucked between his teeth with his students’ work. He was professor of mathematics at the university. He thought he knew it all, pompous fool.’

He stopped talking. ‘You can take notes,’ he said.

I shrugged. ‘What’s the use? You’ve not told me anything. Just some tedious stuff about your father and you, the poor misunderstood kid. Heard it all before, Carl. Many a time.’

Carl sucked air through his teeth.

‘My mother,’ he continued, in the same way, a dull monotone, ‘was different. She never talked down to me and she certainly never stimulated my intellect.  I must have overtaken my mother in intelligence when I was still sucking her disgusting breasts. They were not pleasant at all. I can remember that quite clearly.’

He stopped talking, apparently lost in a memory.

I’d studied Carl’s dossier in detail. Seen the results of all the tests. Scientists, doctors; they all loved Carl. He was an endless source of interest. His IQ tests were off the scale. On quite another level to any presumed area of comparison. That made him fascinating as a scientific study. I’d read their conclusions. I didn’t find Carl fascinating. He was a vicious killer, entirely without conscience.

‘Not much good at school were you?’ I asked, baiting him. ‘I’ve seen the reports. A bit slow, they reckoned.’

His expression didn’t change, but I was watching for a sign and saw a flickering pulse at his temple.

‘I was bored with school from day one. I switched off, repulsed by the sheer vapidity of it all. Why should I play their stupid games?  I thought my own thoughts and let the lessons pass me by. While my classmates struggled to master their alphabet, I would be calculating how many wall tiles would be required to cover the surface area of the moon. Sufficient mental stimulus to pass the time, but still well within my compass.’

‘Showing off, are you, Carl? Think you’re impressing me? Dream on, sunshine.’

For a moment, I thought I’d miscalculated. Sent him into his shell. Then he laughed out loud, a sharp bark of laughter that hung in the fetid air.

‘Oh, you can come again,’ he said. ‘I may get to like you coming round for a chat.’

I shrugged, waited him out.

‘My father,’ he continued. ‘Getting him suspended from work was easy enough. I typed an anonymous letter to the Dean alleging sexual impropriety with his students, both sexes to be on the safe side. Planted the seed. I practised until I could imitate the voice of a terrified female to perfection, and then rang the police, telling them I was a student and had been raped by my tutor. No names, no details. Keep them guessing.’

I’d intended to let him talk, but a question sprang to mind. ‘’Why would anyone take any notice?’

Carl looked up, sharply.  Obviously annoyed at my question.

‘I’d made plans in advance.  My father had regular tutorials with a student named Jessica. A tall willowy girl, no brain to speak of, but pleasant enough.  I suspect he really did fancy her. I used to hang round his study and listen in sometimes. I was quite the little favourite with Jessica. She was always asking about me. She went with me for a walk, down to the village for an ice cream. Do you know about Jessica?’

I shook my head.

Jessica was my first stranger. Outside the family. Very special.’ He stopped talking, looked at me, apparently expecting a reaction. I held it back; tried not to think about the disappearance of Carl’s baby sister.

‘She’s never been found. Jessica. I took some clothing, a rather grubby bra, a small piece of her tee-shirt and some hairs. Long blonde hairs, not her natural colour, by the way. They weren’t trophies. I wedged them under the passenger seat of my father’s car.’

I looked at him, trying to keep my expression blank.

‘The police arrived next day,’ Carl continued. ‘A girl was missing, last seen going to her tutorial.  My father agreed she had been there for her regular tutorial but had left at her usual time.  “She took my son to the shop”, he remembered at last, and I was sent for. I told the two policemen how Jessica had taken me to get ice-cream, then she came back because she’d forgotten a book or something. They went away again, the police. Came back the next day. Must have pieced together the phone call, the letter to the Dean by then. They searched the house, the grounds. Found the clothing in the car.’

Carl was on a roll now, eyes closed as if drinking in memories. I kept very still, reluctant to do anything that would break the spell.

‘They arrested him, took him away. Questioned him for two days, eventually released him. Lack of evidence. He hadn’t been charged but was suspended by the university.’

Carl smiled, opened his eyes. Three days later they came for him again. Took him away. He’d not said a word to me, or my mother. Locked himself away. He was crying when they took him away again. Further questions, they said. He hanged himself that night. In the cells. Nobody ever said how he’d done it. That made it all neat and tidy. Remorse, they all said that. Never found a body. Never found Jessica.’

I said nothing. I hadn’t come for this, but Carl wanted to tell me. Reasons of his own.

‘It was better after he died. Easier. My mother let me do anything I wanted, have anything I asked for.’

He stopped talking, placed both palms flat on the table. ‘Enough for today, he said.

‘How old were you?’ When this happened?

Carl’s eyes blazed, showing a degree of emotion for the first time. He looked at me, making me wait.

‘Eleven,’ he said.